Famous Last Words

Dear Reader, 

No one is happier than moi for there to be an end of sorts to my cancer. I say of "sorts" because typically one is never out of it's cross hairs until they die from something else. 

I can't wait to blog about something else. I already have a title for one post "You're So Vain You Think This Blog Is About You." Not super clever, the content will be less clever I'm sure and with no redeeming qualities too. And I can't wait. 

Enough about that, let's talk cancer.

The end of May 2012 I was re-diagnosed with cancer. Previously in March 2011 I was diagnosed with plasmacytoma then the following happened:

• 5 days a week for 6 weeks of about 2.5 minutes of radiation each session
• After I was declared in remission
• In December was told that it looked like the treatment did not work as there was still a mass present. 
• December 30th after further tests it showed I was indeed in remission and the lump was either scar tissue or a dead tumor cell. No bone marrow biopsy would be done as it was too invasive due to bone loss. 
• May 2012 a PET/CT scan was done. It is EXTREMELY accurate, it's used all around the world for decades. If you want to read up on it here or here are some options. From this test is how I was re-diagnosed. My PET/CT Scan technician was a doctor, this is his field - his speciality. He then sent it to Dr. Wai, my oncologist and she confirmed the finding. So did my G.P. and Dr. Wai's colleagues. 
• THEN I asked EVERY person I could think of who would pray for my health and family. I asked to include us in their prayers. Several congregations joined my family in prayer and fasting. Also to be prayed for in temples too. From Afghanistan to Australia and several places in between this took place. Nothing else was done for me, no medication, no special diet, just normal life.
• Then there were the tests to determine if the cancer progressed to myeloma and what treatment would consist of, Dr. Wai said it would more than likely be high dose chemo in Vancouver. I had my 24 hour urine sample that was tested, a blood test and a bone marrow biopsy. May I add that a the doctor who performed the biopsy was adamant to perform no biopsy if he did not feel the PET/CT Scan warranted it. He was so unusually thorough and made very sure I knew what I was getting into that I wondered if I should even do the biopsy. Afterwards the hematology lab tech working with him said that's just how he operates, he doesn't do any biopsies unless there is a definite need. Again, I had yet another doctor (one taking the bone marrow) who confirmed that I was indeed diagnosed with cancer. 
• The day of my bone marrow biopsy I also met with my orthopaedic surgeon. It was a short visit, he said it was now beyond his expertise and referred me to the expert, the top doctor in this field in all British Columbia, Dr. Clarkson in Vancouver. 
• After this, the following week we met with Dr. Wai and instead of having any treatment prescribed, I was given a clean bill of health. I was told every thing looked good and I was in remission. Regarding the change she said "I don't know why." 

For all the Doubting Thomas's out there count up how many doctors who reviewed my case, count up their schooling years and may I note they were all easily in their 40's, 50's, and 60's. Plus, all the competent technicians that work with them. Add up the schooling and work experience and then compare it to yours in this field and say "Who would know more if he was misdiagnosed, them or me?"

I have no idea why I went into remission, but I know for some reason our Creator heard the petition of many and granted me health. For how long, who on Earth knows? I in no way feel I did anything to deserve this, nothing about me is more special than anyone else. All I know is I am a blessed man and I have no problem giving credit where credit is due, and that is the Master Physician.

But wait there's more!

Dr. Stone, the orthopaedic surgeon who referred me to Dr. Clarkson the orthopaedic oncologist surgeon because of the cancer found. Well Dr. Clarkson volleyed my case back to Dr. Stone because of my favourable test results. Furthermore, for the mean time no surgery is needed! 

I have gone from being diagnosed with cancer and needing surgery to going in remission needing no surgery in one month. I have never worn my beliefs on my sleeve, but I don't pretend they don't exist either. I believe all good things come from God and I believe me being in remission is a good thing. 

I still have a bum hip, but it may very well improve and I intend to do what I can to help it.

Honestly it's a lot to cope with, yes it is more than just good news. I thought/hoped/prayed I would be in this position months from now. Yet all of a sudden here it is. It is literally taking concerted mental effort to imagine good health and life that accompanies it. May I never take it for granted, slap me and shake me if I do. Well, unless you're bigger than me than just a friendly reminder will do. 

The End. 

Confessions From the Praying Kind: How I Went Into Remission From Cancer

Since I'm clearly such a private person it's seems odd to me as much as it may to you that I  am to confess something in such an open format. 

I talk to myself. 

I'm not sure if there is ever a pause, rather an ongoing commentary on what's going on. I ask questions, state the obvious and make up dialogue for people when I pass by while driving or waiting for them to done their purchase in the checkout line. When I go to sleep I make up scenarios or stories to relax myself to sleep. 

I'm not really sure everyone does this continuous self talk, but I can't be the only one. My point is that this is nothing remotely new to me, I know my inner voice very, very, very well.  

I have read that I should have a prayer in my heart at all times, I have heard or read from people that some do. 

Some call it vibes, sending out thoughts into the Universe, or don't want to give it a name in the fear they'll sound like a nutjob. I just called it prayer and it's directed to my Father in Heaven.

Personally, I feel like all the stars have to be aligned to remember to consciously say a prayer when I wake up. Between the fog of sleep and my alarm clock that says "Daddy! Daddy! Waaaake uuup!" there's little personal time. Or personal space for that matter as my "alarm clock" insists on flushing the toilet for me. One day she'll stop, right?

Through the years I've had feasts and famines of prayer. Before marrying Faith I ended a draught of sorts. I prayed, just daily or weekly and definitely not as much as I would want my daughter to talk to her father (me). With my new marriage I felt direction was sorely needed, and wanted to be someone Faith could rely on. 

Then Myrtle came along. Even though there was one more person in my life, I felt alone. Alone in the sense of underprepared for a daughter, boys are no mystery to me, a girl though? Welcomed, but new territory nonetheless. So, I prayed much more for a lot more direction. 

As I already mentioned, I talk to myself and I know my inner voice quite well. So when I hear (feel, prompted, inspired) another voice, a voice rarely, very, very, very rarely with words that guide my and my families life I know it is from He that I pray to. 

I know it's not me talking to myself, rather there is a conversation with Divinity and little old me. Honestly, I'm not sure I understand it but I know I'm heard. Sometimes, especially if I haven't prayed for a bit or am not living in harmony with my inner compass I get nothing, like the line's dead. When I'm feeling gratitude (choosing to) and am giving and living up to what I ought to prayer is easier. 

What I'm getting at is that I've had plenty of experience in being the not praying type and the praying type. Much like the Vaudeville performer Sophie Tucker said "I've been rich and I've been poor. Believe me, rich is better." Well, for me praying has been better than not. 

Sufficeth to say, I know prayer works. So, when we were told by my oncologist Dr. Wai that the cancer had returned, after being stunned for a few hours I decided to ask everyone that I knew for sure who prays or at least did at some point. Additionally, I invited all those that also fast and to join my little family in a fast (24 hours without food, while praying for a purpose). 

After the prayer and fasting I had a few tests, 24 urine, blood and bone biopsy to determine my treatment. However Dr. Wai said all my tests showed to be in the normal levels and regarding the change? She said "I don't know why."

It's not everyday one goes from being diagnosed with cancer then going into remission with no treatment. But that happened to me, to my little family. As I write Faith is encouraging Myrtle to pick up toys, Myrtle is holding her doll blanket and doll. In the background the hum of our ice cream maker is going. It's family night. We have this relaxed time together, with no thought of the planned high dose chemo treatments I was to take in Vancouver. 

Is this not a miracle? Whether it's one more year or 100 more years I am grateful for it. 

Prayers were answered. If you prayed and fasted thank you! 

Ice cream is ready and Myrtle said "I share with Daddy!" Sounds good to me.